81-year-old comedian Joan Rivers died last week. The world is now without one of its truly acerbic wits. Ms Rivers loudly paraded her much-sculpted face before crowds, saying that it wasn’t right to pretend she wasn’t getting Botoxed. Lying about having Botox treatments “says to the average woman: I’m naturally beautiful and you are not.” When Gwyneth Paltrow said she was afraid to try Botox again because she was scared she’d end up looking like Joan Rivers, the comedian cleverly retorted “She should see what I look like without Botox – that’s really scary!” Gwyneth is afraid of Botox. Maybe she should be. Botox is a paralyzing toxin derived from botulism, a sometimes fatal illness. She might prefer being stung on the face instead of poked with Botox needles. Beetox, instead of Botox. Adventurous entrepreneurs are advocating this weird bee therapy to smooth tired skin. I have seen products – creams and gels – made of bee venom. Some people are enthusiastic and say it works; others not so much.
But perhaps skip the expensive creams and go straight to the source. A few stings on the face stretch the skin as smooth as a baby’s tummy. By the way, the young lady in the picture to the left took a nasty sting, but she will be alright. If you should accidentally undergo a Beetox adventure, be sure to scratch the stinger loose without squeezing the venom sac. Some clever folks pull bee stingers with tweezers grasping the poison bag – that injects an extra dose of venom, making the cure worse than the ailment. So please scratch, don’t squeeze.
Should Joan Rivers have tried Beetox? Certainly her dear friend Prince Charles could have rustled up a few bees from the Royal Hives for her. But does Beetox actually work? I don’t know. But I can tell you that most beekeepers get stung on the face. And beekeepers are undoubtedly among the most handsome people you will ever meet.