Steve Vai, guitar wizard extraordinaire, performs in Calgary tomorrow night at the Jack Singer Hall. I won’t be there. I respect his talent immensely and as an ex-guitar guy myself (albeit, three or four orders of magnitude below Mr Vai), I would have enjoyed the show. But tickets are $47.75 to $359. For $359, I suppose you get to sit on stage with Steve.

If I sat on stage with Steve (me, in my wheelchair; he, in his beekeeper boots), I’d ask him how he plays after he’s been stung on the fingers. Steve Vai  is nuts about beekeeping. He’s been at it for 20 years, so he’s no newbie. Then I’d ask him what it was like to play aside Frank Zappa, in Van Halen, Spinal Tap, Ozzy Osborne, Alcatrazz. Then I’d ask if it was true that he sold 15 million solo records but blew all the money on beekeeping.

If you got bored of the video at the top of this post, you might like to watch Steve lighting a smoker and chatting up brood chambers, drawn comb vs foundation, and wildflower honey crops in the next video. I hope you’ll watch the video below – you’ll be amazed at what Steve does with his 1,000 pound annual harvest. This is one sweet guy.

Anyway, Steve, if you’re reading this before you go on, thank you for your music and welcome to Calgary. Enjoy the show – it’ll be a good one!